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A good memory for people's names is not only an important social asset: it's a basic requirement for successful managers. Remember people's names and what they're interested in, and you'll flatter them and get them on your side immediately. But forget their names, and the things important to them, and you're telling them you don't consider them important. If you want to avoid the embarrassment of forgetting the names of people you meet, here are some suggestions for you to consider...
1. Get the name clearly.
The most common problem in remembering the names of people we meet is not paying attention during the introduction. Whether we're self-conscious about meeting a new person or we feel out of place-whatever the
reason, we tend to focus instead on the How do you do's and the Nice to meet you's. What's more important, as the person is being introduced to you, is to listen for the name. Pay more attention to it than to anything else being said. If you don't pick it up, ask for it to be repeated. Be in no doubt about the pronunciation or spelling. Taking such care shows that the name and the person mean something to you.
2. Repeat the name to the person.
Take a second to repeat the name when you are introduced. Indeed, find an excuse for the name to be repeated (and reinforced): 'Hello, Mike. I'm sorry, I missed your last name...' Then, follow up with: 'Mike Buckman! It's nice to meet you, Mike.' The process of retention has begun. During later conversation, try to repeat the name-'Mike' or 'Mr Buckman'. That technique will not only strengthen goodwill but get your memory into gear as well.
3. If possible, focus on the derivation of the name.
A useful suggestion, especially if the name is unusual, is to ask about its origins. Many people enjoy talking about the derivation and history of their name-particularly if it's unusual. And what they have to say might make them more memorable for you.
4. Look for a memory hook.
The literature usually recommends that we establish 'mental filing systems' or 'memory hooks' that will instantly attach a name to a familiar face. Such hooks may, or may not, work for you. The tactic of linking names to images need not make sense to anyone but yourself. At first the process may seem cumbersome-but anything is probably better than trying to remember names just by repeating them. Five options may be considered:
• Try to put a name to the face. Perhaps Mr Baldwin is bald, Mr Bigge has a large body, and Ms Sharpe has a sharp nose.
• Check whether the name has a meaning in itself. Meaningful names are valuable aids to memory-like animals such as Wolff, cities such as York or Washington, celebrities such as Monroe or Kennedy, or adjectives such as Strong or Little. Create a vivid mental image-Mr Strong as a weightlifter.
• Find a word substitute. If the name has no meaning, substitute a meaningful word that comes close in sound to the name in question-e.g. Buckman could be bucket or buckle, creating a mental picture...But be warned, there is a hazard: don't go calling Mr Buckman Mr Bucket!
• Link the mental picture with the location. To remember where you first met the person, create your image at the location-picture Mr Strong waltzing through the Hyatt Regency ballroom with a bar-bell held high over his head.
• Link the mental picture to the person's interests. To remember Mr Buckman's interest in sailing, imagine him bailing out his sinking yacht with a bucket! The literature says that the sillier the image, the better we will retain the information.
5. Repeat the name to yourself.
After the initial encounter, look back at the person a few times to reinforce the episode. Repetition is the means to a good memory. The more often you say the name to yourself, in association with the memory hook you may have devised, the more entrenched your mental image will become, and the harder it will be to forget that person's name.
6. Use pen and paper.
By writing information down, you increase the chance of committing it to memory. Exchange business cards if possible. As soon as the opportunity arises, jot down the name with a line or two of details. Include when and where you met, any memory hooks you have created, and what common interests you found. Later you might transfer this data to index cards for regular review, taking time to recall the person's appearance. If you adopt this strategy, you'll soon earn a reputation for having a terrific memory for names.
7. Work on it.
The best way to remember a name is to tell yourself firmly to do so. Most people need to apply discipline and effort. But, to be an effective manager of others, you have to get to know them by name. The effort will be worth it, however, for you will be rewarded-by winning friends instead of just nodding acquaintances.